Adventures in Pole Aerobics, Part I

This week, I, Nat, the author of this blog, tried pole dancing.

(note: that’s not me.  That is a girl with way more confidence than me).

I attempted pole dancing exactly one time.  Some girl brought her pole to a Jurassic Park themed birthday party.  She wowed us with her moves and then invited us to give it a shot.  It’s much harder than it looks.

My friend Mel and I decided to take pole dancing for two reasons:

1. To get abs of steel

2. To feel more comfortable in our bodies.

So we signed up for a four- class deal at Romance and Dance.

Here are seven things no one tells you about pole dancing:

1. Size is no object.  Our class had quite a few plus- size girls rocking the spins.

2.  You should wear knee pads.  You really need them for crawls and to prevent chafing behind the knees.

3. Pole stickiness is critical.  A whole bunch of products exist just to make sure your pole has the desired stickiness.

4.  It’s better in heels.  I can’t wear heels because of my busted feet, but the girls who wear heels say the moves are much easier.

5. It’s so much harder than it looks!!  Think more aerial acrobatics, less strip club.

6.  It’s legit- they have competitions and everything.

7.  It hurts.  A lot.

Our instructor started with some pole- based leg and ab lifts that left my thighs burning and my arms rubbery.  We did a stretch that will supposedly lead to the splits if you do it enough.  I can’t do the splits.  I can do a pretty decent lunge, but no splits.  A large dog could walk through the space between my legs.  Then, we hit the poles.

I signed up for Newbie Pole.  I’m a newbie.  The other girls were not.  They were flipping upside down, spinning with their legs out, doing the splits, whipping their hair back and forth, and looking very fierce.

I fell on my butt every time both feet left the ground.

I struggled.  I had a mini breakdown trying to do a back roll because my feet couldn’t touch the ground above my head.  I almost cried a couple times.  I felt so clumsy and awful compared to these graceful girls. My instructors had some sympathy.  They gave me some modifications so I could still do the routines without looking like floundering blob of dough.

I’ll get there, I hope.  Everything takes practice.  Right now, I’m focusing on what I can do (Around the world! Pretty lady! Sexy walk! All the moves have names).

Here’s what I want to remember for next time:

1. Trust the pole.

2. Trust yourself.

3.  Wear something cute.  It helps for confidence.

4. Bring kneepads.

5. Don’t watch the other girls.



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