Decoding Donald Trump’s Policies: Are They Really That Bad?

The short answer?  Yes.  Yes they are.

trump election night

Donald Trump won the presidency last night, whether you like it or not.  I try to stay away from news media of any kind for the simple reason of human bias, so before you read this article, I’m gonna tell you my biases up front:

  1. I have a B.S. in journalism and public relations
  2. I’m from California
  3. I voted Democratic in this election and Republican in the last one, but I’m pretty pleased with how the Obama years turned out
  4. I love America.

I also love how Google covered the election.

How Google covered the 2016 election

I got all of my election updates from their live tracker.  So this morning, I decided to check out Trump’s “issues” page to find out where he might steer this ship.

Here’s how I decode his stances:

Trump’s Stance


“Restore integrity to our immigration system by prioritizing the interests of Americans first. Enforce our immigration laws – at the border and at the workplace. Build a border wall and end sanctuary cities. Send criminal aliens home. Welcome those who embrace our way of life, but keep out immigrants and refugees who don’t through rigorous vetting.” Build a wall & kick out all the children and Arabs.
“The primary responsibility of the federal government is to protect the rights of its citizens. Life is the most fundamental right. The federal government should not diminish this right by denying its’ protection. I am opposed to abortion except for rape, incest and life of the mother. I oppose the use of government funds to pay for abortions.” The religious right paid me to say I’m pro- life.
“Unwavering support of the Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms. Get serious about prosecuting violent criminals. Get gang members and drug dealers off the street to make our cities and communities safer. Empower law-abiding gun owners to defend themselves. Expand mental health programs keep the violent mentally ill off of our streets.” Ya’ll are gonna need something to fight my Neo-Nazis with, right?
“Foreign policy will be singularly focused on Making America Safe Again by destroying radical Islamic terrorist groups. End the nuclear deal with Iran and the ransom payments to the world’s number one state sponsor of terrorism. America will stand with its allies and end the Obama-Clinton practice of apologizing to our enemies.” Kill all the commies… or in this case, radical Islamic terrorists.  Fuck diplomacy.  We can always nuke em, right?
“Taxes: Cut business rate to 15 percent. Reduce individual rates to three brackets of 12, 25, and 33 percent, with a 0 percent rate for many. Add above-the-line deduction for childcare costs, including for stay-at-home parents.” Domesticate women and let businessmen keep all their money.  We don’t enjoy an above- average standard of living here, or anything.  
“The Supreme Court has issued an opinion on this. Same-sex marriage is an issue that should have been decided by the states.” Not my problem.

trump faces

“Every American deserves access to high quality, affordable health care, not just insurance. Obamacare has failed on cost and quality of health care. It must be repealed. America needs a patient-centered health care system, allowing families and their doctors to be primary decision makers. Provide for the sale of health insurance across state lines.” Actual Obamacare.
“Reform the tax code and trade policies to make it easier to hire, invest, build, grow, produce, and manufacture in America. Stop China from stealing our jobs, renegotiate NAFTA, cut unneeded regulations and make America the best place in the world to do business. Putting America First—and not globalism—will keep jobs and wealth in America.” This is the “make America great again” clause.  Rebuild the American domestic economy.  
“When it comes to the balancing security and privacy, we should err on the side of security. We should restore Patriot Act provisions enabling metadata collection for anti-terror surveillance with court controlled access, scrutinize social media of those seeking to enter the US, and limit the ability of ISIS to use the internet to spread terrorism.” If you have nothing to fear, you have nothing to hide… right, wizards?

Umbridge Donald Trump

“Crime and violence is an attack on everyone—particularly the poor—and is unacceptable. We will have strong, swift fair law and order. Progress against criminal activity is being reversed by this administration’s rollback and discouragement of criminal enforcement. We must work with law enforcement and first responders to keep our communities safe.” If you think the race war sucks now…
“Everyone deserves clean air and safe drinking water regardless of race or income. Water infrastructure will be a big priority. We need to work to protect natural areas, but in a balanced way. End Obama EPA mandates that cost too many jobs, are opposed by most states, and too often have negligible benefit for the environment.” The environment exists solely to serve humans.  Who cares if we destroy our planet for billions of other organisms and future generations?  At least the baby boomers will breathe easy!  I TOTALLY don’t remember the giant cloud of smog that gave a whole generation of people asthma in the 1980s, or any of that other garbage that lead to EPA mandates in the first place. 
“Every child in America deserves a great education and an opportunity to achieve their dreams. We will enhance education options for students through school choice and charters, and respect homeschoolers in their quest for educational alternatives. We will also make it easier for families to afford college so students aren’t buried in debt.” Public schools aren’t getting federal funding because I cut all the taxes, so better send your rich kids to private school.
“Create high-paying jobs to bring growth to our stagnant economy, reducing deficits and spending. Rebuild our military and ensure that veterans receive top quality medical care. Rebuild our infrastructure. End government corruption and rein in wasteful spending to put our ballooning deficits on a long-term path to balance.” Spend money on the military and invest in billionaires. It’s lonely at the top.  
“There are serious threats facing the United States, and American strength is the only way to ensure peace. We must rebuild our military, reform our intelligence agencies, and prepare our government for the security challenges of cyberspace.” We already have the biggest stick in the world.  Let’s use it!  Also, I’m not opposed to bringing back the draft. 
“Preserve Medicare for future generations. No changes to promised Social Security benefits.” PROTECT THE BABY BOOMERS!

Trumps protects baby boomers

“Ensure that every Veteran gets timely access to top-quality care through the VA or private Medicare providers if the VA cannot provide timely access. Fix VA corruption and help Veterans find good paying jobs. Veterans should come first in the country they fought to protect, and under a Trump Administration they will.” Be nice to the veterans.  Also, see how I capitalized the V?  You’re like Jesus, folks.  
“We will use our vast coal, shale gas, and other American energy sources in a clean and appropriate manner to benefit American families and workers, not for the economic benefit of the politically-connected. Support coal jobs, safe fracking, energy from offshore and public lands and the Keystone Pipeline, which can be done responsibly.” Keep using outdated technology.  Global warming is a hoax anyway.  All these hurricanes and heat waves are just coincidences!


donald trump thumbs up

After reading his policies, I recognize many mindsets align with the baby boomers’.  In my experience, persons born from 1945- 1960, or after World War II, feel a sense of entitlement.  They feel they deserve unlimited healthcare and prosperity.  They feel very little environmental responsibility.  While I do enjoy their company sometimes, their mindsets are outdated.

World War II ended over 60 years ago and our status as a superpower now exists because of global cooperation, not military power.  I feel Donald Trump’s policies prelude a major world war and blast women and minorities back to the 1950’s.  I realize those are not new ideas.  But I got that impression from reading the stances his PR team wrote.


I can deal with a gun crazy racist guy for four years.  Many of us live in states run by those people already.  But Trump’s disregard for sustainability in the environment, economy, and military cause the most concern.  In the end, though, America voted for him.  Thanks, ya’ll.

We’ll see which way the wind blows, but when it does, it won’t be creating renewable energy.

trump toupee in the wind


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