Stage

Amy Schumer’s Tulsa Show: Masseuses, the Amish, and guns

Amy Schumer Tulsa OK

A friend got us Groupon tickets to see Amy at the BOK center.

Here’s how it went:  Our seats were so bad we could hear nothing but garbled echoes, so we snuck into some better seats.  I have no idea why the venue sold seats behind speakers.  Pointless. Thank God the BOK center always has approximately 5,000 open seats.

Rachel Feinstein opened for Amy.  She made a bunch of funny sex jokes.  Sex jokes are kind of the low- hanging fruit for standup comedians these days.  Comedians think audiences will immediately trust them if they disclose life with their pants down.  People think, “Wow, you’re so honest!” It totally works.

Anyway, my favorite part of Rachel’s shtick involved the Amish Hand Job:

“I pretend like I’m an Amish girl and I kind of bat the penis back and forth, and I think I’m giving a REALLY good hand job.”

Then came Amy, a vision in maroon.  She disclosed her hangover and beguiled us with a tale of her wild night in OKC.

“Apparently I made everyone stop at a 7/11, where I bought an assortment of items.  My boyfriend told me I was eating chips with butter as if it were guacamole.”

Amy got tons of press last year, but I’d never seen her comedy.  After her show I immediately YouTubed her entire career and watched Trainwreck.  Love her.  She’s raunchy and honest while still somehow polite.  I think it might be her advanced vocabulary (ie, sparing use of F bombs).  She also thanks every audience, no matter how wretched, for being “amazing”. Aww!

Anyway, if I had to do back-to-back shows in Oklahoma, I might be hungover too.  I’m no standup expert, but I think a good deal of standup depends on the crowd.  We knew Tulsa and Amy would not get along when Amy summoned a “masseuse” named Ariel from the audience and Ariel proceeded to tell Amy she’s “a massage therapist.  I don’t work in a brothel.”

Amy Schumer MAssage on Stage

Okay then.

Amy’s Hilary Clinton story fell flat because much of the audience stopped listening after “Hilary Clinton”.  My favorite part:

“A lot of people don’t know this about me, but I’m very well read.” (read pronounced reed). 

Three people laugh. 

“I’m a little worried about how few people got that joke.”

She finished with her very wise commentary on gun violence.  She pointed out that two time domestic violence offenders, the certifiably mentally insane, and the blind can all legally buy guns.  Which IS hilarious.  But not to Oklahomans.

I don’t know if she ends with that every night.  I felt sad when Amy curtsied and walked off stage.

You can’t please all the people all the time.  In a 10,000 person house, odds are not in your favor.  Still, Amy gets mad props for booking arenas.  She deserves that private jet.  Bless Amy for giving her best to the BOK, but next time I’ll claw my way to a comedy club.  Preferably in New York, her home state.

Catch her in one of these fine establishments this summer.  Get tix here.

APR 21: Target Center, Minneapolis, MN

APR 22: Carver-Hawkeye Arena, Iowa City, IA

APR 23: CenturyLink Center Omaha, Omaha, NE

APR 28: North Charleston Coliseum, Charleston, SC

APR 29: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, SC

APR 30: Rupp Arena, Lexington, KY

MAY 01: Hampton Coliseum, Hampton, VA

MAY 05: Times Union Center, Albany, NY

MAY 06: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, NY

MAY 07: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, NY

MAY 14: Germain Arena, Estero, FL

MAY 15: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena, Jacksonville, FL

MAY 16: CFE Arena, Orlando, FL

JUN 23: THU Madison Square Garden, New York City, NY

 

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