Season 11 of The Bachelorette pitted Kaitlyn Bristowe and Britt Nilsson against each other for the affections of 25 single men. The men voted after introductions and one lady went home. In case you forgot these ladies from THREE MONTHS AGO, let me refresh your memory: BRITT: Beautiful, wore tons of makeup, cried all the time, really enjoyed being on TV KAITLYN: Reminiscent of a young Miley Cyrus, Kaitlyn from Canada instructs yoga, break dances, shoots whiskey, gets naked and farts. Guess who they picked. Britt even removed her lipstick for the occasion! She went home, all way down the 405. When ABC announced the dueling Bachelorette feature, many objected. The situation seems cruel and made no sense. What about the men who voted for the losing Bachelorette? Are they just supposed to fall in love with someone new? Would ABC make women chose from two men? Whatever. None of that matters after the first episode. I’m glad the men picked Kaitlyn. She has great style, a sense of humor, REAL EMOTIONS, and seems way less likely to eliminate men of color in the first three weeks.
Anyways, everyone knows The Bachelorette pretty much only exists to campaign for the next Bachelor. Only guys would say “he deserved it” of a bro who went after the first impression rose. Look for a role sheet on the men as soon as personalities emerge.
I’m excited. Kaitlyn will make a funny and fresh Bachelorette after the last two brunette bummers (Andie and Des). Raise a glass of whiskey and toast to Kaitlyn. And hey! Britt is still single! All those skulking Team Britts, get on it! Although next time they do this, ABC should *actually have two Bachelorettes.