Sometimes you’re best- dressed. Sometimes you’re worst- dressed. Sometimes your dress is just so hideous it needs its own category.
The guests at the 72rd Golden Globe awards ran the gamut. White, neutrals and metallics dominated the red carpet. Red dresses made their case for color of the season. Whatever your hue, dark red seemed the lip color of choice. Jennifer Aniston, Dakota Johnson and Taylor Swift’s dresses look like they came from Ross. Keira Knightley wore a ruffly bib and I honestly think she was still the most beautiful person there.
J.Lo hits up her old standby, a plunging bathrobe. The hair. That cape. She looks like a supervillain. Run.
I’m pretty sure I see a variation of this dress every time I skim the racks at Ross.
This chick stars in 50 Shades of Gray, which she translated into 50 shades of silver in this dress that I also remember seeing while shopping for formals back in the mid- 2000s.
I triple- dog dare Taylor to go to a party without red lipstick. Taylor is queen of the basics in this prom dress.
Best Original Song nominee Lorde represented the music biz well in her sharp suit. But my God, she has terrible posture.
Emma with her “swashbuckling” sash.
Get a load of Kristen Wiig’s earlobes!!
I understand that I am supposed to worship Rosamund Pike for being the Rooney Mara of the hour, but I thought this dress made her look like a fridge.
I’m not going to pick on Lena Dunham because she clearly doesn’t give a damn, but her Girls costar Allison Williams’ dress reminded me of a Barbie doll I had whose dress collapsed into this weird lampshade. Allison looks like a 50s Christmas ornament.
Kate Mara is a sour puss. She’s publicly groused about her sister being more successful than her, she plays crazy bitches on TV, and on this particular Red Carpet, she pretty much said eff the producers of House of Cards for killing her off. This is a nice dress. Her scowl makes it ugly. And I guess the belt does too.
I heard some say pregnancy was the only excuse for Keira’s nature- inspired Chanel frock. Turns out she’s pregnant. She is seen here wearing fabric swatches for the new baby’s bedroom and SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL
I liked Kerry’s dress. Until I saw the bottom. And realized it looked like it was made out of really uncomfortable snakeskin. It reminded me of a statue.
Gwyneth Paltrow, who I understand skipped the red carpet to avoid mingling with peasants, gets points because she was the only person to wear this color.
Joey Potter wore this ridiculously long ponytail. It’s either fake or gross.
Fashion critics call this gown “interesting” at best. For me Claire Danes has worn so many red carpet hits, I can’t tell the difference between beautiful and hideous on her.
In this slideshow, I salute the fashion risk- takers of this exceptionally exciting red carpet.