TV

Bachelor Nation Heats Up! Who will win America’s Most Eligible Male?

EPISODE 5

Whitefish, Montana, won the bidding war for Most Obscure U.S. City To Host The Bachelor.  Curiously, the Bachelor goes to all these snowy destinations and never goes skiing. Weird.

Sean kicks off the week with a one- on- one with adorable Lindsey.  They take in a helicopter tour of Glacier National Park.  Back on the ground, Lindsey opens up about having a deployed father and uses the word “adolescence” more times than a college psychology professor.  She wants to settle down and start a family just in case her hubby gets shot in Iraq.

Sean surprises Lindsey with a concert in downtown Whitefish by country star Sarah Darling.  The entire town greets them and the two smooch, slow dance, and crowd surf (revealed later in The Bachelor Tells All).  I felt the magic.

Back at the house, all dread the two- on- one date.   It goes to Tierra and Jackie.  Daniella bums out.

Everyone but Tierra, Jackie, and Lindsey prep for the group date.  The girls are put into teams and compete in a wild Montana wilderness relay race, concluding in milking a goat and drinking its milk.  Clearly all these girls are city slickers who have never seen a farm animal before because they freak out like contestants on Fear Factor.  The Red Team wins and Desiree thinks she deserves an engagement ring for drinking a fresh and healthy dairy product.  As promised, the Red Team advances to the nighttime group date.

Sean misses the Blue Team ladies and invites them over at the last minute.  Red team is pissed because they got their adrenaline pumping for nothing.  Tierra decides she wants more time with Sean.  She laces up her heel boots and marches to the group date, because the concept of “rules” don’t apply to her.  Sean gives her his time.

Later, Tierra and Robyn get into a fight.  Robyn says she’s going to Bad Girls Club!  Can’t wait.

The next day Tierra stars in her own date. She pulls out her psycho card for the camera crew on several occasions.  Tierra impresses Sean with her stunning horsemanship and leaves Jackie in the dust.  Tierra outshines Jackie in every aspect.  She confesses to Sean that she was in a 15 year relationship with a drug addict that eventually ended with his death by overdose.  Tierra gets a rose and a fireworks show and Jackie gets to eat fish by herself.

At the rose ceremony, Sean confesses his frustration and dissatisfaction with the previous week.  He wants to send all the women home because he doesn’t want to marry any of them.  Perfectly fine, Sean.  Perfectly fine.  In the end, Robyn and Jackie go home without roses.

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